Jack Schitt
Was Full of It
He used to live next door
With Cats n Dogs n Little Schitts
And Lady Schitt (The whore)

He was no fool
Attended Public School
Was known As Eaton Schitt
He was famed for lighting farts
And staining his sports kit

He majored in sex
Wore dirty brown specs
And put his Schitt member about
He put a turd in the school nurses oven
And scarpered before it popped out

Arrested at Football
Chelsea v Millwall
The Schitt truly hit the fan
The fan told the law who knocked on his door
And gave him a 10 year ban

They moved out of town
To Crappingham Down
And made money selling baled hay
A farmer and wife, a sedate new life
Now its same Schitt, diff'rent day.