Happy Birthday Jesus
Ya Sandal-wearing nerd
Stop hanging round wi' lepers
And get yourself a bird

I bet ya walk on water
Has given ya cold feet
But I hear Mary Magdelines
Blowjobs are a treat

So less of all the prayers mate
Lighten up a bit
Get yourself a brandy
Ya boring hairy git

Your birthdays meant to be
A day to let it all hang out
Not going round preaching gospel
An' acting all devout

Im just trying to help mate
You seem a bit pent up
Make yourself some Merlot
With yer magic cup

Ooh, the eyes are darkening
Did I get you mad
Well bring it on pacifist boy
Or will ya run n get ya dad?

Well happy birthday Jesus
I really really tried
I bet ya spend your Easter the same
As if someone had died